Current mood:

weird

The haunted house across the alley
This morning I woke up, drank a bottle of something I found under the kitchen sink (tasted like lighter fluid) Then I did 500 pushups with one arm and 500 with the other. Thats when it hit me. I'M NOT HOME! I'm in the haunted house across the alley! I FREAKED! I started running around tring to find an exit but the doors and windows were boarded up. How I got here Jim Beam only knows. Then I felt like I was being watched. CREEPY. This house was cursed by a witch just before she moved out last new years eve. I was at the party that night. She was my bitch at the time. Some strange stuff went down that night at midnight she unhinged her jaw like a SNAKE and swallowed me alive but she drank too much of my booze and puked me up. Once again liquor saved my life. Well...when I got that creepy feeling like I was being watched, I ran straight through a brick wall like the Kool-Aid guy. Once free I went to the liquor store to wash the taste of lighter fluid off my tongue, met a hooker, killed a dragon and staired down a firetruck.